Last week I was looking for some old pictures to create a before/after post. I wanted to show how far I have come and how much my body has changed. But guess what? I was not able to find a photo that showed the Mái 1.5 years ago. Then it hit me, I was in denial.
None of the pictures on Facebook or Instagram from a year ago show the real me, the lost me. I went through all the pictures and yes, of course I look chubby and with big cheeks in them but that is not even close to how I really looked like. Back then, I was careful not to share pictures that “make me look fat” -LOL!!!! I was fat! But a girl has her own tips to trick the camera and the viewers.
Now that I have found a few of them buried in my drive, I’m not afraid of showing them. These pictures are a reminder of a place to where I do not want to come back. They show a Mariana who was happy but deep deep very deep down was disappointed about herself; about not being able to run more than 3 minutes on the treadmill without dying; about hating shopping for clothes because she was afraid of realising she was now size 16; about having to take 10 selfies before getting a good one that she could share with her family and friends; about being afraid she wouldn’t be attractive for her boyfriend.
This is the old me…
Denial is powerful. I knew I was overweight. I knew I needed to make changes not only to my eating habits but to my entire lifestyle. But then, what snapped me out of my denial? What made me realise that I needed to stop making excuses and start doing something for real this time? A hideous SELFIE! This selfie…
I thought I have deleted it, because that is what I do when I don’t like the picture. But not, for some reason I kept it. What was wrong about it? It was the real me. My double chin was huge, my cheeks were about to explode, I look older and lost.
The next day, I started swimming every day!